The Unitarian Church of Pasta has some very basic tenants that we uphold as a church. In order to get to know us better, please read about some of the important parts of our religion. Full details can be found in our bible, The New Testament of The Flying Spaghetti Monster; Dinner 2.0. Hopefully you will find this new recipe of Pastafarianism to be as delicious as we do, and you will be inspired to join our church!
Holidays
First, we have a number of important holidays that we celebrate:
January
New Year’s Day (1st)
Parent’s Day (15th)
Pet’s Day (20th)
February
Single’s Day (13th)
Valentine’s Day (14th)
March
Pastival (Northern Hemisphere)
Pi Day (14th)
April
April Fool’s Day (1st)
Earth Week (3rd week)
May
Star Wars Day (4th and 5th)
Geek Pride Day (25th)
June
Pastamas (Southern Hemisphere)
July
Science Week (2nd Week)
August
Children’s Day (11th)
September
Pastival (Southern Hemisphere)
Talk Like a Pirate Day (14th)
October
Devil’s Night (30th)
Halloween (31st)
November
Day of the Dead (1st, 2nd)
Pastival (Southern Hemisphere)
December
Pastamas (Northern Hemisphere)
Space Week (1st Week)
Do’s and Don’ts
His Noodliness The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not like to command people. He thinks commanding people is far too pushy. However, he does have suggestions that He would like you to follow in order to be a good Pastafarian.
These Holy Suggestions (explained in detailed in the Book of Tortellini) are meant to help you to be better humans, and to live happier lives.
Do’s
1. It’s Better If You Find A Thing You Are Good At
2. It’s Better If You Live in Harmony With the World
3. It’s Better If You Make Art
4. It’s Better If You Lead An Untethered Life
5. It’s Better If You Work Together
Don’ts
1. It’s Better If You Don’t Put People In Cages
2. It’s Better If You Don’t Work Too Much
3. It’s Better If You Don’t Value Possessions
4. It’s Better If You Don’t Hurt Others
5. It’s Better If You Don’t Censor Things
In The New Testament of The Flying Spaghetti Monster, you will find several books of knowledge given to us by His Noodliness. The Holy Book of Tortellini (which explains the Dos and Don’ts) is not actually the most important book of the bible. Pastafarianism is not as focused on commandments as some other religions are. Instead, the FSM believes that you get more information from things like the holidays that he asks you to celebrate, and the section of the Bible called The Book of Soba, which details how to worship Him.
Saints
His Noodliness The Flying Spaghetti Monster does not easily recognize people for Sainthood. It takes a truly selfless and kind person to be a Saint in the Church of Pasta. There are some people who he has seen put their community above themselves, and he would like to recognize them here.
Dr. Jonas Edward Salk
Dr. Salk lived in a time when Polio was ravaging the lives of children all over the world. He saw a depth of suffering that he was horrified by, and he worked hard to create a vaccine for the disease. When he found a working vaccine, he could have taken out a patent and made millions of dollars. However, he chose to give it away for free, so that more children could be saved. What a great human.
John Walker
John Walker was the chemist who invented matches in 1820. It’s hard to imagine a world without matches, but before 1820, that is just what the world was. Walker recognized how useful they would be and chose not to patent them so that they could be more quickly and cheaply available to people.
Tim Berners-Lee
Mr. Lee created the first web pages when he was working at CERN. As an independent contractor, he could have patented his idea, and a very different Internet would have grown out of that decision. However, he saw the potential of his idea and wanted it to be available to everyone. Thank you, Mr. Lee.
Elon Musk
Mr. Musk is a man who has a lot of good ideas, and he is constantly giving them away. He works harder than is probably good for him, but he is constantly churning out blue prints for electric vehicles, ideas for space travel, and other cool stuff like the hyperloop. Nearly all of Elon Musk’s creations are able to be used by anyone. He has published all Tesla’s car specifications online and asked people to please use them, while saying he does not want money for them. He is a good example of a human who should spend more time away from work, but The Flying Spaghetti Monster appreciates his dedication to getting all of his ideas out of his head at all costs.
Daisuke Inoue
This man may not be well-liked in the west, but in the east, he is a god. He is the inventor of the karaoke machine, a favorite pastime for the people of many countries. Daisuke Inoue could have patented his invention, but he chose not to. He gave it away for free in order to help people enjoy their free time. Although some bar tenders are weary of screeching customers who murder their favorite songs, we can easily say that Inoue’s invention was for the very good; if only because it helps Japanese people relax and let their hair down sometimes.
Hack Spaces
There are small communities of people all over the world who are creating things under a Creative Commons patent (meaning that anyone can use it.) This is a wonderful thing to be doing, and His Noodliness wants to give a shout out to all the people trying to create and share technology with their fellow humans in this way.
Note On Saints
Sainthood is not the same as fandom. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a huge fan of Dr. Richard Dawkins, Mr. Christopher Hitchens, Dr. Stephen Hawking, and yes, even Sir Patrick Stewart. He adores a lot of people who have made the world a little nicer, but in spite of his love for those humans, he also knows that they profited off of their ideas. The conditions for Sainthood in the Unitarian Church of Pasta are that the person must create something wonderful, and then share it with the world for free (such as putting the patents online to download.)
His Noodliness is a huge fan of many, many humans. He gets a kick out of Russell Brand, and thinks Dr. Michio Kaku is wonderful. He adores anyone trying to build space ships because he started off as an entity of pure energy and lived in space, and he looks forward to the time when humans go there.
It would take days to list all of the people of which His Noodliness is a fan, and this bible would become far too long. Just know that if you submit someone to be considered for Sainthood, you must follow the criteria that they created wonderful things and then shared them with humanity for free. A big bonus if they, like Dr. Salk, saved lives and prevented suffering as well.
Ending Thought
You really do need to purchase your own copy of the bible and study it to discover the important messages that His Noodliness wants to impart. You’ll want to find out (for example) what gods are on his Shit List, and which ones he considers to be His pals. How does he feel about Buddha? It’s all in the Holy Book of Macaroni, which is part of the Bible. There are also parables to help you discover how He wants us to behave, instructions on how to celebrate the holidays, and lots of other delicious knowledge that you are sure to enjoy!
Do you have a question about the church or our beliefs? Feel free to contact us below:
May the blessings of His Noodliness be upon you! 