I want to tell that I was divinely inspired to write this book, but that is not technically true in the normal sense. In fact, I was hired to dictate it. At first it was just a job. The FSM sat there ranting about gods He liked and those who had crossed Him, or what He wanted His commandments to be, and I recorded it all on my computer to be typed up later.
And yet over the months that it took to put this bible together, I became really fond of Him. He would flail his noodly appendages about as He talked and get spaghetti sauce on my carpet, and I would listen with rapt attention to His stories. He’s enthralling.
This started as a job, but that’s not how it ended up. I consider the FSM to be my personal god now. He converted me as He talked, and I must say, my life is better for it. I never thought of myself as the sort of person who would worship a god (let alone a god made of noodles and sauce.) Yet, I do. He really is the best god there has ever been, and The Supreme Carbohydrate on which I base my life.
All glory to his Noodliness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster! He is the light in the darkness and the path in the woods! He is love, compassion, and truth! There are other gods, but only he is worthy of my worship and devotion! Craigslist brought us together, but none shall tear us apart.
All Glory to The FSM, R’amen!